Are You a Scary Boss? 6 Ways to Lead with Trust, Not Fear

October 31, 2024

Randy Conley

I must admit, sometimes it’s fun to be scary—and Halloween provides the perfect opportunity to engage in haunted hijinks.

Sometimes I like to play tricks on friends and family by scaring them when they least expect it. There’s nothing like that jolt of fear that’s created when you jump out from your hiding place to surprise someone!

It’s frightfully fun to spook someone out with the occasional prank, but leading with fear will turn your workplace into a truly haunted house. In fact, I can think of several scary boss archetypes inspired by Halloween characters:

The Vampire Boss
- Drains your energy with endless demands and late-night emails. Never satisfied.
The Witch Boss
- Toxic and manipulative. Stirs up drama and spreads negativity.
The Werewolf Boss

- Calm during the day but turns into a raging beast under stress.
The Ghost Boss

- Disappears when needed. Gives vague guidance and avoids decisions.
The Zombie Boss

- Stuck in old routines. Lacks vision and resists change.

The Mummy Boss

- Wrapped in red tape. Slows down every process with bureaucracy.
The Evil Clown Boss

- Creates chaos and confusion. Enjoys playing mind games with the team.
The Grim Reaper Boss

- Brings doom and gloom. Quick to shut down ideas and predict failure.
The Mad Scientist Boss

- Obsessed with crazy ideas. Pushes chaotic projects without planning.
The Scarecrow Boss

- Intimidating but ineffective. All talk with no real action or leadership.

I’ve observed many managers who could be perceived, at one point or another, as a scary boss. According to a recent survey, 33 percent of managers lead with fear. As the study’s authors point out, if you were to ask a manager if they lead with fear, most would say no. But when you ask them about the fear-based sentiments they feel throughout the day (e.g., suspicion, blame, imposter syndrome, micromanagement, unwillingness to receive feedback), it becomes evident that fear is unconsciously driving their behavior.

You may be a scary boss and not even realize it.

So what’s the antidote to fear? It’s leading with trust.

In our recently published workbook, Simple Truths of Leadership Playbook: A 52-Week Game Plan for Becoming a Trusted Servant Leader, Ken Blanchard and I share several strategies leaders can use to build trust and create a psychologically safe environment.

Here are six ways to lower fear and build trust:

1. Be consistent in your behavior. Unpredictability breeds fear. If your employees can’t reasonably predict how you’ll react in a given situation, they’ll be afraid to step out and take risks. They’ll always be on edge, not knowing who’s going to show up at the office—the “good boss,” who will support their efforts and have their back should they make a mistake, or the “scary boss,” who will fly off the handle and punish them for their failure.

2. Treat mistakes as learning opportunities. High-trust cultures give employees confidence to set BHAGs—big hairy audacious goals—and to risk failure by not achieving them. Rather than penalize your employees when they make a mistake, use the opportunity to coach them on how to do better the next time around.

3. Explain the why. Let your team members know the why behind the questions you ask and the decisions you make. It will help them better understand your thought processes and motivations and will create more buy-in to your leadership. Failure to explain the why leaves people to create their own version of the truth—and it sows the seeds of doubt and fear.

4. Share information about yourself. The Johari Window is a helpful model that illustrates how you can improve communication and build trust with others by disclosing information about yourself. By soliciting the feedback of others, you can learn more about yourself and how others perceive you. Check out one of my previous articles about how you can build trust by being more vulnerable with people.

5. Solicit and use feedback from others. Leaders who rule by fear generally don’t bother soliciting feedback or input from others when making decisions. It’s the boss’s way or the highway. Trusted leaders seek input from others and look for ways to incorporate their ideas into the decisions that are made.

6. Be nice. Say “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome.” A little kindness goes a long way in building trust. Simply making the effort to be friendly and build rapport with others signals to them that you care about them as individuals, not just workers who show up to do a job.

Various remedies are available to prevent leaders from contracting the Zombie Plague or to treat those already infected. The therapy plan extends over the course of a leader’s lifetime and requires constant diligence to ensure the disease stays in remission. By far the most effective treatment is Propel by Blanchard™. Side effects may include self-improvement, building trust in relationships, and adopting a servant-leader philosophy.

There are no tricks or treats to being a trusted servant leader. It's simply about making these commonsense principles common practice. If you can do that, you don't have to ever worry about being a scary boss.